How can I understand the calling?

Love ..... Remembering the words of Paulo Coelho at this time... The Second obstacle in life... Is that a stimulus? May be for thosewho have been accepted in the larger society and also among individuals without any expectation. But for those who failed in a relationship consider it as some kind of negative emotion which prevents oneself from being productive. Putting myself into it and after introspection, I found that to be destrutive... I am talking about a relationship about two conflicting selves who were in a relationship. I would not call it (love) as complete when there is a materialistic expectation on one side and sacrifice on the other side. How would you feel if a girl or a guy leaves you after a 2 year realtionship for simple, silly reasons, Calling you a Psycho and making you feel bad for your existence in this world. I have that experience. Dreams shattered. Struggle to maintain that relationship ended up in a disaster. why did it happen? trust.....what is the role of perception and distance in these kinds of relationships? How do children get trained up by the parents in this fast moving materialistic world. Do they get the spiritual values from their parents or just a material insight with a goal of settling well with moneyed, rich people? If values have been taught properly then why people get cheated in a relationship? Is that the environment that makes an impact in the life of the individual.. may be.. if not then i would ask the question Paulo asked in his book .

Are defeats necessary? if yes or unavoidable, we are going to suffer than anyother people. How can we understand the calling through defeats, especially when you are sensitive and emotional? What can we do to maintain the motivation level when you are wounded inside by defeats? Can you take that fox's decision of 'not for me' ? Is there any way through which you can understand the calling? Is Sprituality an answer for these questions? when emotions are strong about the relationship and when you are not able to forget what has happened in the past, what is the role of spirituality there? we know what we are upto, In my case I know that God is with me. But the emotions I carry are stronger than the teachings i get from God through his words. So I fall back into the emotions. Did I understand the call of God? If not how can I?